Handling emotions is as easy as A-B-C-D-E

In this present era, stress, anxiety, and depression in all their variations are being so common like daily chores. Is there anyone out there who has never come across such issues? No, because they are so humane and all humans have to deal with it at some point in life. So, the best way is to accept this fact. But you need to overcome such situations and with the right way of thinking, it is definitely possible to get out of the rut. Take control of your mind now by using the ABCDE model.

“It’s all in the mind!” Life is so unpredictable and anything can pop up at any moment. For any situation, you can always choose to respond in two ways, either stressfully or gracefully. The choice you make depends on how much you understand the power that is hidden within you.

ABCDE model was introduced by Albert Ellis. He is an American psychologist and founder of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). It is a method of training used in cognitive behavioral therapy. This model is being used to handle stressful or uncomfortable situations. The ultimate job is to observe and analyze your thoughts. What you think influences the way you act which in turn influences the way you live.

ABCDE model is a mnemonic representation that helps you to conduct a really effective mental reflection process.

• A represents the activating event. This can be any situation, or another person’s opinions or behavior, or our own thoughts that make you uncomfortable.
• B represents the beliefs. This can be generalized or specific about any situation, other people, or yourself, which actually do not serve you at any cost.
• C represents the consequences. Consequences are the results of a negative belief system. It is your behavioral and emotional reactions to the situation or event.
• D represents the disputation of irrational beliefs. It means completely resetting the negative beliefs into new ones.
• E represents the effect of newly build beliefs

Now, let’s explore this method in a more detailed format.

“Activating event” means some situation in which you feel stressed, nervous, or frustrated. This is recognizing or identifying the cause behind your feeling or emotion. For example, Suppose, you are a singer. And since you need to perform in front of thousands of audience, the very next moment, you are anxious. Here, the activating event is to perform in public.

“Belief” in the ABCDE model is what results in your anxiety or stress. That is as per the above example, being an anxious singer, your beliefs must be “I am not good enough to perform on-stage” or “ I make terrible mistakes while singing” or “ I will be embarrassed in front of a large audience.” But such a belief system solves nothing. And it puts you into further worse conditions.

Now, as per “Consequences” in the ABCDE model, such a belief system results in really worse effects. So here the consequence is that you perform very badly on-stage due to lack of confidence and people react. Then you feel embarrassed and never want to sing again.
But this is not the only option you have.

Firstly, when you realize you are anxious and you recognize your activating event. Then you recognize the beliefs that lead you to it. Now, you have the power to change those beliefs and thereby its drastic consequences. This process is what D represents in the ABCDE model. That is the disputation of irrational beliefs and thoughts.

So, even when you are anxious, you can change your beliefs and thereby the way you feel. That is, you can take a pause and tell yourself some affirmations such as “I am confident” and “ I perform well on-stage and win people’s hearts”. This shift you make yourself shifts your anxiety. You will feel more relaxed and also you will be able to compose yourself.

Finally, E represents the “effect” that you see with the intentional change you bring in your perspective. And that is being the confident singer, who receives applause.

Now let’s take a different situation and see how the ABCDE model can be implemented in your practical life. Suppose, while scrolling through social media, you saw your friend’s ravishing posts and you feel jealous.

Here, the activating event is seeing your friend’s post on social media. Your beliefs are, “Oh! They are having fun and my life sucks!” or “Their life is so happening and mine is not.” or “Everyone else is having a great life and I’m the only one who struggles.”
Here, the consequences are you feel disappointed or angry, and lack self-confidence and self-esteem. You feel ashamed of your own life.
These thoughts are never going to serve you!

So, as per the ABCDE model, you need to dispute such negative thoughts and beliefs. And the above thought process can be changed into, “They are having fun and I can too. I feel the same happy vibes here and I am inspired!” or “If they could make it, I can do that too. I just need to focus more on my goals and expand.”

This change of belief system that you intentionally create, eventually, becomes a more natural process and it changes your whole vibe and then your life. Here, the effect is that you focus more on your goals and so you will be inspired to create the life you desire.

To start applying the ABCDE model in daily life, the best way is to ask yourself why you experience that situation and understand your thoughts. Then, pour it out onto paper. Firstly, identify any uncomfortable situation and then try to figure out the negative beliefs you relate to. Now, think of the consequences that aroused. Write all this on paper. Take your own time and create new beliefs that could help you get good results. Write those too. This practice will definitely create an intentional awareness and you will get control over your mind.

So, the ABCDE model is a way of reflecting and training your thoughts and beliefs. But this is not a sudden process. It requires some practice and consistency. Then, slowly, you will be able to overcome stressful situations more easily. Remember, you always have the power to change your thoughts. It can truly impact the results you produce in any area of your life. Try and imbibe this in your daily life and you will see the change.

Stay Happy! Stay awesome!!